Columbia photographer gives powerful, heartbreaking gift

9 months 3 weeks 5 days ago Thursday, December 22 2016 Dec 22, 2016 Thursday, December 22, 2016 4:29:00 PM CST December 22, 2016 in News
By: Brittany Pieper, KOMU 8 Anchor
loading

COLUMBIA - Shane Epping, a professional photographer in Columbia, has given a priceless and powerful gift to dozens of mid-Missouri families, but it's a gift he wishes he didn't have to give.

HOPE

Christmas can be a magical time, especially through the eyes of a child. While Dina and Dustin Dunklee make those special holiday memories with their daughters Ella and Ruby, they also remember and commemorate one more.

"We'll talk about her," Dina said. "I know a lot of people just don't talk about it, but we do. It's very important. She's one of the biggest parts of our lives."

Three years ago, before two-year-old Ruby was even a thought, the Dunklee's celebrated Christmas preparing for the birth or their middle daughter, Hope. At the same time, they were preparing for her death.

"Christmas was the last holiday that we got to have her. So you just want to make it even more special," Dina said.

A few months earlier, doctors diagnosed Hope with Trisomy 18, a condition found in one in every 2,500 pregnancies in the U.S. (according to the Trisomy 18 Foundation). Doctors warned there was a good chance Hope would not make it because most babies with the condition are stillborn.

So the Dunklees spent that Christmas celebrating her life in the midst of pain, fear and the unknown. A few weeks later, her heartbeat was gone. Dina had to deliver a daughter she would never get to hear cry or laugh, but she still wanted to celebrate Hope's life because already she felt it had shaped her own.

"She's just made me into a completely different person. I mean, everything. The way I look at things. The way I approach things. Everything. She has just changed me completely."

A nurse suggested the couple call Shane Epping.

"I'll get a phone call from the hospital, usually it's a nurse, and they'll have a situation where there's been a demise of an infant," Epping said. "It's usually unexpectedly, and he or she, the nurse, will want to know if I can volunteer to go to the hospital and take pictures of the infant and family."

Epping is a professional photographer who volunteers for a group called Now I Lay me Down to Sleep and takes photos for familes who, like the Dunklees, lose a child.

"I think when you lose a child, it might be the biggest loss of your life. One way to honor the memory of the child is with a photograph. It's a tangible object that you can hold in your hand or frame, and the person, the infant, will never be forgotten," said Epping.

ADALINE

Adaline was supposed to be here this holiday season. Her mother, Jennifer Herron, had an uneventful pregnancy and was considered full term when she went in for her 38-week appointment. Tests showed elevated proteins, so doctors decided to induce labor. Still, Herron didn't think she should be worried until she started to push.

"The nurse told me to stop pushing," said Herron. "She started yelling for help and paging the doctor 911. Everybody ran in there. They flipped me on my side and started unhooking everything and they ran me down the hallway to have a c-section."

Adaline's life began with CPR and a blood transfusion. She was then transferred from Boone Hospital, where her mother delivered, to the NICU at University of Missouri Women's and Children's Hospital.

When Herron was released from Boone Hospital a few days later, with Adaline still in critical condition, she couldn't hold her daughter but held plenty of hope she would bring her home. A few days later, she realized she wouldn't be able to do most of the things she had planned with her daughter.

Adaline was dependent on a respirator and other machines to keep her alive. Doctors examined her brain to see how extensive the damage was.

"When they do the test, the scan of the brain, the healthy parts are the white parts, and when you're without oxygen for so long your brain starts to die off and those parts turn black," Herron said. "They were hoping for just small parts of black in her brain, but with her, her whole brain was black."

That's when Herron joined a group she never wanted to join - mothers who had lost a baby. Like the Dunklees, a nurse told her and her husband they could call Epping to come take family portraits for them - a fleeting opportunity to capture the love they had for their family of three.

"There's one where he has me holding her, and he photoshopped the tubes off of her, and it brings me to tears everytime. He did a wonderful job, and we can't thank him enough."

It's been five months since Herron realized life would not be what she planned. She's only been able to bring herself to look at the pictures Epping took a few times. It's still too emotional. But she's so glad she has them.

"It means everything because we won't ever get to see her. Looking at those pictures is the only time we get to see her now. We'll get to see how little she was. All the hairs that she had. What she got from her dad and what she got from me. That way when we have other kids too they can see what she looked like, and we can be like oh you look like your sissy. Do you want to see her? Things like that," said Herron.

FAYE

Epping has now taken photographs for more than 75 families. As he looks through the pictures he can tell you the stories of each one - how the child died, how the parents reacted when he walked in the room, if there were any items they wanted included in the pictures and why, what made the family special. He carries the weight of each child's life story with him. It's a lot to weight, but he keeps picking up his camera and going to the hospital each time a nurse calls because he knows being on the other side of his camera is much worse.

His daughter's name was Faye. Epping keeps taking his pictures of families because she lived.

In 2011, Epping and his wife, Mary, found out they would have a baby. Halfway through the pregnancy they found out the baby had Trisomy 18, the same condition Hope Dunklee died from. Each appointment, they hoped for the best. Each time, they would hear the heartbeat. The day before Mary was scheduled to deliver, that heartbeat was gone.

"I felt extremely attached to Faye whenever I saw her. I saw her for the first time, and I think it's because I could actually see and hold her," Epping said.

A photographer came to the hospital to take pictures of his family and the little girl who made him a father. A few months later, he signed up to volunteer for Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, the same organization that gave him the pictures he came to treasure so much.

"I think it's about remembering that there was a life," he said. "That this person was here. This person mattered. This person was loved and always will be, and we're not going to ignore that. We're not going to look the other way. Instead we're going to take pictures, and memorialize it and honor the life."

HOPE, STILL

Almost three years later, little Hope's photograph still watches over the Dunklee family from the shelf in their living room. She was there as they decorated the Christmas Tree, one special ornament bearing her name. She's there as Ella reads books and Ruby points to the pictures. She's there when anyone walks through the front door.

The Dunklees have found ways to turn their grief into something positive. Each March, they organize the Hope Run to raise money for the Morgan County Caring for Kids Coalition, and, from time to time, Dina Dunklee will get a call asking her to talk to a mother who has just lost a child. She said she tries to pass on the same calm compassion she found in Epping when walked into her hospital room.

Dunklee said she had no idea when Epping took those pictures how much they would mean to her.

"They're just priceless. They're everything," she said. "They're that moment in time that your life just completely stood still, and it's just captured right there. You will never forget that moment you had because that's all you had."

It's one of the ways they keep Hope in their hearts, always.

 

More News

Grid
List
COLUMBIA - Access to health care can be a matter of life or death. Callaway County's only hospital almost... More >>
49 minutes ago Thursday, October 19 2017 Oct 19, 2017 Thursday, October 19, 2017 12:47:00 PM CDT October 19, 2017 in News
JEFFERSON CITY - The attorneys general for 49 states and the District of Columbia reached a settlement with General Motors... More >>
1 hour ago Thursday, October 19 2017 Oct 19, 2017 Thursday, October 19, 2017 11:57:11 AM CDT October 19, 2017 in News
BOONE COUNTY - Sheriff's deputies said a teenager was shot in a home on Bethany Drive on Wednesday. The... More >>
2 hours ago Thursday, October 19 2017 Oct 19, 2017 Thursday, October 19, 2017 10:43:58 AM CDT October 19, 2017 in News
COLUMBIA - Police are investigating a home invasion on Clark Lane after victims said two men broke in and took... More >>
3 hours ago Thursday, October 19 2017 Oct 19, 2017 Thursday, October 19, 2017 10:07:00 AM CDT October 19, 2017 in News
COLUMBIA - For Harold’s Doughnuts owner Michael Urban, big customer turnout and big sales are Homecoming traditions he looks forward... More >>
5 hours ago Thursday, October 19 2017 Oct 19, 2017 Thursday, October 19, 2017 8:13:00 AM CDT October 19, 2017 in News
COLUMBIA - Homecoming weekend is a big deal in Columbia with thousands flocking in for festivities, including tailgating prior to... More >>
10 hours ago Thursday, October 19 2017 Oct 19, 2017 Thursday, October 19, 2017 3:35:00 AM CDT October 19, 2017 in News
BOONVILLE - Law enforcement took two into custody after a car chase late Wednesday night. The couple was identified... More >>
13 hours ago Thursday, October 19 2017 Oct 19, 2017 Thursday, October 19, 2017 12:09:00 AM CDT October 19, 2017 in News
ST. LOUIS - Southwest's first all-female crew took off from Missouri on Wednesday. The flight traveled from St. Louis... More >>
15 hours ago Wednesday, October 18 2017 Oct 18, 2017 Wednesday, October 18, 2017 10:07:00 PM CDT October 18, 2017 in News
ST. LOUIS (AP) — Jaden Schwartz had his third career hat trick to help the St. Louis Blues beat the... More >>
15 hours ago Wednesday, October 18 2017 Oct 18, 2017 Wednesday, October 18, 2017 10:06:59 PM CDT October 18, 2017 in News
COLUMBIA - Columbia Police Department responded to a call at 4:15 p.m. Wednesday afternoon in West Columbia. They are... More >>
17 hours ago Wednesday, October 18 2017 Oct 18, 2017 Wednesday, October 18, 2017 7:39:00 PM CDT October 18, 2017 in News
MEXICO-- As Domestic Violence Awareness Month comes to a close, a report by the Violence Policy Center shows that Missouri... More >>
18 hours ago Wednesday, October 18 2017 Oct 18, 2017 Wednesday, October 18, 2017 7:29:00 PM CDT October 18, 2017 in News
ASHLAND - Children, parents and politicians attended a Youth Town Hall featuring Congresswoman Vicky Hartzler, R-Missouri, Wednesday evening at the... More >>
18 hours ago Wednesday, October 18 2017 Oct 18, 2017 Wednesday, October 18, 2017 7:14:00 PM CDT October 18, 2017 in News
COLUMBIA - After an active threat on MU’s campus, some are disappointed with the MU Alert system and question its... More >>
18 hours ago Wednesday, October 18 2017 Oct 18, 2017 Wednesday, October 18, 2017 6:51:00 PM CDT October 18, 2017 in News
COLUMBIA - The Downtown Leadership Council met Tuesday to decide how to spend fees paid by developers to compensate businesses... More >>
20 hours ago Wednesday, October 18 2017 Oct 18, 2017 Wednesday, October 18, 2017 5:33:00 PM CDT October 18, 2017 in News
SPRINGFIELD (AP) — An Arkansas man who made bomb threats to a county courthouse in Missouri so his court hearing... More >>
21 hours ago Wednesday, October 18 2017 Oct 18, 2017 Wednesday, October 18, 2017 4:31:00 PM CDT October 18, 2017 in News
MOBERLY - Police arrested a man Tuesday on suspicion of more than a dozen crimes, including rape, statutory rape, sodomy,... More >>
22 hours ago Wednesday, October 18 2017 Oct 18, 2017 Wednesday, October 18, 2017 3:31:00 PM CDT October 18, 2017 in News
COLUMBIA - Six years after being one of the first 16 schools to incorporate the Coulter Awards, MU has become... More >>
22 hours ago Wednesday, October 18 2017 Oct 18, 2017 Wednesday, October 18, 2017 3:14:00 PM CDT October 18, 2017 in News
COLUMBIA – People struggling with alcoholism can find help more easily with a new online navigator tool released by the... More >>
22 hours ago Wednesday, October 18 2017 Oct 18, 2017 Wednesday, October 18, 2017 3:12:00 PM CDT October 18, 2017 in News
Columbia, MO
Broken Clouds 75°
2pm 74°
3pm 76°
4pm 80°
5pm 77°

Select a station to view its upcoming schedule:

Coming Up Next

1:00p
Days of Our Lives
2:00p
The Dr. Oz Show
3:00p
Dr. Phil
1:00p
Maury
2:00p
Maury
3:00p
The Robert Irvine Show

Tonight's Schedule

7:00p
Superstore
7:30p
The Good Place
8:00p
Will & Grace
8:31p
Great News
9:00p
Chicago Fire
7:00p
Supernatural
8:00p
Arrow
9:00p
KOMU 8 News @ Nine on The CW
9:30p
Seinfeld