Columbia man describes trauma after father tried to break him of being gay

7 months 3 weeks 2 days ago Tuesday, February 19 2019 Feb 19, 2019 Tuesday, February 19, 2019 6:26:00 PM CST February 19, 2019 in News
By: Tana Kelley, KOMU 8 Reporter
loading

COLUMBIA – Dayan Reynolds said he didn’t know his dad had a mission to convince people they aren't gay, until coming out as a teenager. That’s when, he said, the emotional abuse began.

“Over those two years, the tactics that he used on me, the kinds of breaking down your mental processes, breaking down my confidence, my understanding of myself, my self-trust,” Reynolds said.

He said his father told him he was a "biological disease."

“He got me to the point where I felt alone, I felt isolated, I felt like no one wanted me, no one accepted me for who I was, what I was," Reynolds said. 

Missouri House Bill 516 would prohibit such conversion therapy with minors. On Monday, the Columbia City Council unanimously voted to support the bill. Reynolds was at the meeting.

“I wanted to say something and share my case,” Reynolds said.

Reynolds said he went through two years of the therapy, what he calls "the breakdown."

“Tear me down to the point where I was nothing but a shell,” he said.

When his father realized he couldn’t be fixed, Reynolds said, he made sure Reynolds didn’t come out to others. 

“He even said at one point was that, like, I wasn’t able to come out because, if I did, I would hurt his business being a case where he wasn’t able to fix me,” Reynolds said. 

Reynolds said he was able to go to college after those two years with help from loans, grants and a supportive mom. In that way, he said, he was lucky, because after the breaking down stage comes the rebuilding.

He said others from his church would’ve had to go through the rebuilding stage where they are taught that they are straight.

Although he left early, some damage was done.

“I developed a mental disorder, coming out of those two years,” Reynolds said.

He was later diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and he blames it on the traumatic experience.

Some still think conversion therapy works. David Pickup is a conversion therapist and one of the leaders of the National Task Force for Therapy Equality. He didn’t want to talk to KOMU 8 News but did email a document urging people to oppose therapy ban bills in their state.

The document he sent is 33 pages. It argues sexual orientation can change and that conversion therapy is beneficial.

Reynolds said the people who are still practicing such therapy aren’t going to accept the scientific data showing it doesn't work.

Reynold’s dad, along with some other conversion therapists, has gone underground.

“He practices on the side with the church,” Reynolds said.

More News

Grid
List
COLUMBIA - Maries County sheriff's deputies said a drunk driver was to blame in a fatal car crash from early... More >>
4 hours ago Sunday, October 13 2019 Oct 13, 2019 Sunday, October 13, 2019 8:46:00 PM CDT October 13, 2019 in News
COLUMBIA - Drivers on I-70 westbound saw 2 mile long delays around mile marker 124 when the Missouri State Highway... More >>
9 hours ago Sunday, October 13 2019 Oct 13, 2019 Sunday, October 13, 2019 4:18:00 PM CDT October 13, 2019 in News
ROCHEPORT - The Missouri Department of Natural Resources said the number of people using the Katy Trail is down by... More >>
10 hours ago Sunday, October 13 2019 Oct 13, 2019 Sunday, October 13, 2019 3:08:00 PM CDT October 13, 2019 in News
COLUMBIA - The CDC began monitoring the 2019-2020 flu season this weekend. And doctors are urging people to get their... More >>
10 hours ago Sunday, October 13 2019 Oct 13, 2019 Sunday, October 13, 2019 2:55:00 PM CDT October 13, 2019 in Continuous News
COLUMBIA — Six Columbia churches had their first Sunday service with improved emergency health precautions on Oct. 13. The... More >>
11 hours ago Sunday, October 13 2019 Oct 13, 2019 Sunday, October 13, 2019 2:00:00 PM CDT October 13, 2019 in News
HARSTBURG – Celebrating another fall season with pumpkin carving, hayrides and a straw maze, the 28th annual Hartsburg Pumpkin Festival... More >>
17 hours ago Sunday, October 13 2019 Oct 13, 2019 Sunday, October 13, 2019 8:00:00 AM CDT October 13, 2019 in News
TOKYO (AP) — A heavy downpour and strong winds pounded Tokyo and surrounding areas on Saturday as a powerful typhoon... More >>
1 day ago Saturday, October 12 2019 Oct 12, 2019 Saturday, October 12, 2019 8:03:00 PM CDT October 12, 2019 in News
LILBOURN, Mo. (AP) — A small earthquake has been reported in southeastern Missouri. The U.S. Geological Survey says... More >>
1 day ago Saturday, October 12 2019 Oct 12, 2019 Saturday, October 12, 2019 7:41:00 PM CDT October 12, 2019 in News
COLUMBIA — One person died after a crash in Cooper County Saturday morning. Haven Pennington, 19, drove her Pontiac... More >>
1 day ago Saturday, October 12 2019 Oct 12, 2019 Saturday, October 12, 2019 4:55:00 PM CDT October 12, 2019 in News
There is 5:40 left in the game. North Kansas City's Ronaldo Calderon kicks a field goal to give the... More >>
1 day ago Saturday, October 12 2019 Oct 12, 2019 Saturday, October 12, 2019 12:36:00 PM CDT October 12, 2019 in News
JEFFERSON CITY — The dome of the Missouri Capitol building will be lit pink in honor of breast cancer... More >>
1 day ago Saturday, October 12 2019 Oct 12, 2019 Saturday, October 12, 2019 12:08:00 PM CDT October 12, 2019 in News
HARTSBURG - The Hartsburg Pumpkin Festival announced parking will be moved to the river roads near the festival grounds. ... More >>
1 day ago Saturday, October 12 2019 Oct 12, 2019 Saturday, October 12, 2019 5:50:44 AM CDT October 12, 2019 in News
COLUMBIA - A Columbia man is behind bars after a search warrant turned up illegal drugs and and a firearm.... More >>
2 days ago Friday, October 11 2019 Oct 11, 2019 Friday, October 11, 2019 10:07:00 PM CDT October 11, 2019 in News
COLUMBIA - Below are scores from football games around mid-Missouri. Final scores are in bold. ... More >>
2 days ago Friday, October 11 2019 Oct 11, 2019 Friday, October 11, 2019 6:39:00 PM CDT October 11, 2019 in Friday Night Fever
COLUMBIA - Friday Night Fever’s Week 7 Game of the Week features an interesting game between a traveling Rockhurst (3-3)... More >>
2 days ago Friday, October 11 2019 Oct 11, 2019 Friday, October 11, 2019 6:10:00 PM CDT October 11, 2019 in Friday Night Fever
COLUMBIA - The Columbia Police Department is asking for the public’s help locating 28-year-old Mengqi Ji Elledge. Elledge was... More >>
2 days ago Friday, October 11 2019 Oct 11, 2019 Friday, October 11, 2019 4:38:00 PM CDT October 11, 2019 in News
NEW FLORENCE - The Missouri State Highway Patrol awarded Randy Nordman and his widow Julie Nordman with the department's highest... More >>
2 days ago Friday, October 11 2019 Oct 11, 2019 Friday, October 11, 2019 3:52:00 PM CDT October 11, 2019 in News
CALIFORNIA - The Moniteau County Sheriff’s Office and the California Police Department made contact with people in two vehicles that... More >>
2 days ago Friday, October 11 2019 Oct 11, 2019 Friday, October 11, 2019 1:59:00 PM CDT October 11, 2019 in News
Columbia, MO
Broken Clouds 44°
2am 45°
3am 44°
4am 40°
5am 40°